Bounce

We recently set-up a giant trampoline that we got from a friend in the backyard. The kids have been going wild on it, and it's proven to be the most efficient sleep enhancer I've ever witnessed. Right before bathtime, I've been taking them out back and letting them jump themselves silly for about 10 minutes. Bedtime has been a cinch. Freida likes to fantasize about being an olympic gymnast or a circus acrobat, and she'll flip around on the thing for anyone who is willing to watch her "show". And Hudi just gets the biggest kick out of the concept in general, she pretty much laughs hysterically through the entire bounce session. :)

Recently I've starting using it as well. After my evening run I get out there and onto that thing and seriously jump my ass off. Aside from it being great exercise and lots of fun, it's incredibly therapeutic! Especially when I'm already kinda "high" from the running and my adrenaline is pumping, and the rhythmic bouncing is so relaxing and puts me into a high-like trance. I know I sound insane :) but I really love it!! Common, ya'll better admit that SkyHigh is totally fun and you secretly look forward to chaperoning that field trip! Anyways, bouncing around on this thing always gets me thinking about the concept of "bouncing back". I feel like it's such an overused and abused term, we pretty much slap it onto any difficult experience; "bouncing back" after giving birth, "bouncing back" from losing a job, "bouncing back" from a sickness, a loss, a trail... we kind of always make it about bouncing back. But, really, life is about the bouncing itself.

There are countless cliches out about being down; that the only place to go is up. And lots of spewed information about life being like a wheel; when it's at the bottom it's gotta roll to the top etc. etc. I'm sure you've heard them all too. And really, there is an honestly to this concept of circular life. It's been embedded in us since the release of the Lion King and it's theme song, and since the 2nd grade when we learned the story of Yaakov and Esau's firstborn exchange, how he was cooking lentils for his mourning father - as a circular symbol of life. And so we understand and believe that life is a circle, going 'round and 'round and up and down. But mostly, we believe that life is about the "ups". And the downs are just an unfortunate side effect.

I'm probably working very hard to comfort myself through my discomfort, and I'm likely working overtime to convince myself that there is goodness within the pain and trauma and suffering... But in any case, I've been reading lots and learning lots and generally trying to do all I can outside of therapy to keep myself above it all, while still being able to feel it all and experience it all without too much pain. And I'm becoming more and more aware of the fact that life is really all about the ups and the downs. It's about the journey, and the wild untrodden roads we sometimes have to take to get there... I've already learned so much about myself  while going through this, and I know my studying myself and my psyche and habits has really only just begun, and I already see and feel and experience the benefits of this kind of self-examination. It's completely sick that I have to be here doing this, don't get me wrong, I weep and mourn the loss of life's simplicity at least once a day, but I also relish is the work - in the therapy and the focus I am now putting on myself. I love that suddenly I am putting myself first, and I mean really first. And it feels deliciously selfish and wonderful. And I needed it. So so badly. And a lot of this has shown me that part of the ups and the downs is the bouncing. And how good the bouncing can feel... It happens when you're not focusing on the fact that you're up or down, just on the rhythmic movement in between the two.

Annnd that's my little tidbit of extroversion for today. :)

P.S. How awesome is that bouncing gif?? Check out the tumblr it's no biggie - the adorable and quirky animated gifs are totally making me smile!