Daddy Time

In our house, "Daddy Time" holds some pretty exciting connotations. And while I know that I'm so so lucky to be blessed with a husband that's as good a daddy as he is a lover, I still know that no matter how 'hands-on' a dad is or isn't doesn't matter when it comes to playtime - all dads play with their children differently than moms do. In a good way. Moms are wonderful for lots of things; warmth, snuggles, food, nurturing etc. But there's just something awesome about the physical way dads play with their children...

I've always noticed this since I was a kid. I think men and children have a similar wavelength for thinking, and women are a bit more objective. When I was a little girl I definitely thought of my mother as more the serious adult (even though she played with me non-stop) and my father more the funny/goofy/playful parent (even though he was working everyday). My mom would play with me at the park, be involved in lengthy imaginary tea parties with me, play "house" etc. but it just wasn't as physical. Sure, she taught me how to do the monkey bars, and how to throw and catch a ball, but there is something so practical about the way moms play, and something so down-right fun and nonsensical about the way dads play. Do you know what I mean? When guys get goofy, they get seriously goofy.

I have this hilarious daddy-time moment caught on video: Freida was 18 months and sick with the flu. Manasseh had strapped a belt through the slots of a cardboard diaper box and was dragging it all around our apartment with Freida in it. She was flushed from the fever and laughing hysterically; I ran to grab the camcorder before I missed the moment. Of course, he picked up speed now that he was being videotaped, and as the box started to ricochet I shot out warnings "be careful. please. she's sick - slow down!" at that moment the box topples over, I curse, and while Freida continues laughing, the camera lays at a crooked view of the dining room with me huffing mumbling and puffing. :)

Yes, they're more reckless. But this also means they lend the child some care-free playtime experiences. Mothers are never care-free - even the granola-chomping, hemp-wearing hippy ones! - all moms have much on their mind; if it's 4:30 playtime, somewhere in the recesses of their mind they are thinking about baths, dinners, homework, bedtimes, dishes etc. It's just the way we are programmed! Men on the other hand seem to be able to focus on one thing, and only think about that one thing. It constantly amazes me.

I know when my kids need a good dose of daddy time (because it's usually when I've been super stresse out), and thankfully he's always happy to give them some fun-loving attention. Which they adore!

And while I know why women are given the ability to compartmentalize their thoughts and think about many different things and/or people simultaneously (if we weren't able to do that - we'd likely wind up with lots of loose ends on the homefront), sometimes I just wish I could learn how to focus a bit more like a man....

They really seem to get their kids, when we think they are just "playing" with them.

So here's a shout-out to the pappas! For being so there. And so fun. We love you.

P.S. More daddy time fun. :)

Sisters, Girls, Cousins

To me, there is really nothing quite like having sisters. I know I've posted about this before, but I'm just so grateful for the relationship and friendship that I have with my sisters. (And now, with my sister-in-laws as well!) And that's just the beginning. When my sister and I were pregnant together during our previous batch of children, I gave birth to a girl and 7 days later she had a boy. It was so wonderful and so much less lonely raising these kids together (even though we live apart). We would call each other about each and every stage of teething, colds, walking, biting, weaning etc. And it was never boring since everything about it was so relevant to each of us! And for me, being a first-time-mom, the experience of sharing was priceless. Getting together was always so much fun since our kids had a perfect playmate - same age, same stage - here's an example. But! When we got pregnant together again, and both gave birth to girls... well, this is just a completely different story!

Our recent trip home to Skokie was just a little foresight into the future. We had such a great time hanging out together, showing off our little ladies while shopping the local fashion joints, sharing their clothes, splitting boxes of adorable little baby socks and other unnecessary sh*t. :) I'm so much looking forward to watching their pint-size friendship blossom, and helping cultivate its growth via lots of trips through the desert and plenty vacationing together. Sisterhood is such a wondrous thing, and I hear having a same-age, same-sex cousin is just as glorious. So! Here's to sisters, girls, and cousins!!

P.S. How delish is Hudi's perpetual bedhead? And Rivka's little sky resort gettup? :))

Daylight Savings

Early mornings come a dime a dozen in this household. There's this thing I have about sleep-training babies; when they wake up anytime after 5am, I go and get them and start the day. Trying to put them back to bed at 5:30 always seems to backfire (either they continue to cry until 6 - which usually means they were ready to rise, or they fall back to sleep for a few hours - shifting their naptime further into the day, defeating the entire sleep-training purpose of a scheduled routine!), and so  when my little loves wake at 5:45 I'm at their bedside with a bright (fake!) smile and good morning hugs and kisses.

The months leading up to the hour "fall back" were dark, dreary, and dreadful; I despised having to wake up and play with Hudi when the black of night was creeping in from the window! It didn't matter how warm and rich my coffee was, or how many hours of good sleep I got, it was miserable to be up in such a state. It was at least an hour of pitch-blackness before I could even open the blinds and let in the first little rays of sunlight...

So while everyone was busy complaining about how early their kids would be waking up, I was so excited about the light the morning hours would be graced with that I just didn't care about the fact that 6 was really 5 - I just wanted to open those blinds and wake to the daylight! To me, there's nothing yummier than warm golden sunshine streaming through the slightly-frosted windows, illuminating the little tuft of bedhead on the back of my babies sweet little head as she crawls around the playroom searching for the mornings most exciting toy, while I sip a freshly-brewed cappuccino and listen to the mellow stream of my kids Pandora playlist, waiting for Freida's bright morning face to appear in the doorway. Priceless.

Sandy's Power

Talk of hurricane devastation can be heard at most every coffee shop, office water-cooler-conversation, and definitely each refreshed Facebook feed. And while relief funds are vital and imperative (please click here to help!), sometimes it's wondrous to stop and see what kind of human kindness and interdependency comes about through stormy destruction.I glimpsed this image, and immediately and unexpectedly teared up. Sometimes it's not the greif that shakes us most; but the love that wakes in the wake of disaster.

So, here's to the beautiful people of New York City! Sending you many warm wishes - stay forever dry, warm, and powerful!!

P.S. I recently read an article about children and storms, and how they don't wind up with memories of catastrophe, but rather memories of adventure and excitement. I found that to be personally true, and a lovely sentiment for parents struggling through the aftermath to think about...

Falling in Love. Again.

Last week Hudi and I went on a quick jaunt to visit my family in Chicago, where we met up with my sister and her little babe as well. My sister Shterni had a baby girl 4 months after I did, and my Bubby hadn't yet seen either of the little ladies! I booked my ticket with some R&R in mind, but I knew essentially this trip was more about the babies than the mommies. (Though, packing up in my teeny-tiny DVF weekender suitcase proved to be a vacation in and of itself! Traveling solo with an 8-month old was pretty wicked on the supplies front - I remember having to bring tons of crap when I would travel with Freida as a baby, but somehow I slowly streamlined my goods and now traveling with a tot is a snap! But more on that later.. :)) Anyways, I absolutely relished in spending time alone with Hudi and really focusing on her and all her little gloriousness! I know that sounds obnoxious since I spend time with her everyday while Freida's off at school, but seriously, getting away with her (like last time!) taught me so much more about her!! Just being with her like that, away from everything else, lent me the calm to witness her incredible character development without any distractions. And those few days of un-interrupted togetherness were just precious!

Do you ever notice that when young children travel they seem to learn something new or grow in a huge way? I always feel like when we take a trip, going away for a holiday or something like that, somehow the babies seem to master some new skill or learn to do something ridiculously adorable! So I'm always left wondering if it's the clear mind that enables me to notice these things, or if they are, in fact, new. Truthfully, it's not at all about her big sister being around - I honestly believe that older sibling give so much more to the development of a child than parents can offer alone - it's more about being away from everything else. Being away from the phone, the dishes, the carpools, the jobs, projects, and deadlines. It's being at one with each moment, and being available in entirety because there is nothing else to do. It's lying alongside her all night long (and not caring that we're deviating from the sleep-training), waking up before sunrise to her sweet little voice (and not freaking out that I'll be too tired later while trying to get work done), taking her with on our shopping/lunch date (and not minding that she'll be missing a nap or two). It's just about being with her, and loving her, and learning her. It was mostly just the fact that those few days were simply about being. And not at all about trying...

And when we arrived home, after a 3-day breather, it was all that much easier. Hudi took to sleep training and night-weaning in such a trusting and easy-going way, and I really feel like it was due to the few days spending a concentrated amount of time with her mama. Once the sleep-training was in order, so was the napping. And while that leaves me home-bound for a few hours of the day, it re-introduced me to what a solid napping routine lends the mom; the amazing tranquility and productivity that we get from those daily quiet hours! Plus, that teeny-tiny little trip helped me so much to re-group, that arriving home afterwards had me feeling so much more in control of my life, and of my work/life balance in particular. Thanks for trekking out with me, Hudi! Looking forward to many more one-on-one vacations from life - be it one-on-one with my husband, my daughters, or myself. :)